


Recipe for Disaster

by zebraljb



Series: Evil Angel [5]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apologies, Bad Cooking, Birthday Presents, Disasters, Eggsy has a meltdown, Established Relationship, Fights, Fluff and Smut, Food, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Merlin and Harry are clueless in the kitchen, a bit of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22168567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Merlin and Harry decide to make Eggsy a surprise dinner...conveniently ignoring the fact that the new kitchen is his domain and they aren't to touch anything.  Better to ask forgiveness than permission, as the saying goes...although when all is said and done they realize the kitchen is really more than a kitchen to Eggsy.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: Evil Angel [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525892
Comments: 30
Kudos: 252





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the Evil Angel universe. It can be read alone but might make a smidge more sense if you read the series.

“Morning,” Eggsy says as he breezes into the kitchen. Harry and Merlin look up from the table.

“Good morning, darling. Happy birthday.” Harry turns up his face for a kiss.

“Ah, yes, the big twenty-five. Ye do realize ye are now a quarter of a century old?” Merlin leans up for a kiss as well before returning to his newspaper.

“Wow, way to make me happy about the day, Merlin.” Eggsy pours himself a cup of coffee and grabs an apple from the bowl on the counter. He sits down and almost bounces in his chair. Harry smiles at him and takes another dainty bite of toast. Merlin frowns at the article he’s reading. He holds the paper up so he can supposedly read it better, but he’s really using it to hide his face. He glances at Eggsy, who looks more and more disappointed. The bouncing stops and he finally focuses on his coffee. 

“We will bring home something for dinner, of course,” Harry says. “No need for you to cook on your birthday. I’m not sure when I will be home, however…I must accompany Uther out of the city for some research.” He makes a face. Harry’s not acting; he hates research trips.

“And I will be sequestered with Arthur and MI-6 for most of the day.” Merlin makes a similar face.

Eggsy smiles almost against his will. “They expecting you to socialize again?”

“If they’d just realize it would be better for everyone if someone like Harry went to these things instead of me, we’d all be happier,” Merlin grumbles. “I end up wanting to knock everyone’s heads together.”

“I don’t mind these meetings of yours,” Harry says mildly. “They usually end quite well for me, as you normally come home and fuck me until I can’t walk.”

“Aye,” Merlin says with a fond sigh. “But I will nae be using Eggsy for something like that.”

“It IS my birthday, after all,” Eggsy says with an eager look. He almost wags a non-existent tail. 

“It is quite charming that ye still look forward to them, lad.” Merlin gets up and pushes his chair in, folding his newspaper and sticking it under his arm. “Once ye get to our age, ye will realize it’s just another day.”

“I know it’s just another day now,” Eggsy says almost sullenly. “Not a kid.” He gets up and throws his apple core away. “I’ll see you two tonight. Hope you have a good day.” He gives them both an almost perfunctory kiss and almost runs out of the house.

Merlin glares at Harry. “I TOLD ye it would hurt his feelings if we acted as if we didn’t care about his birthday.” Merlin’s heart actually hurts a bit. “He looked crushed.”

“You are imagining things.”

“Yes, I’M the one with the overactive imagination between the two of us,” Merlin snorts.

“He’ll be fine once he sees the lovely surprise we have planned for him.” Harry pulls a piece of paper from his coat pocket. “I’ll stop for the ingredients. You’ve checked the cupboards, we have all the kitchen utensils and other supplies?”

“Aye, although I am nae sure about that mixer.” Merlin eyes a particular cabinet door with unease. “That Kitchen-Aid monstrosity…I believe it may have a mind of its own.”

“You have thwarted the most brilliant criminal masterminds, and I excel at thinking on my feet. Tonight will be a rousing success. He’ll come home from work to find a clean house, a delicious meal, and his two lovers eager to show how happy they are that he was born.”

“Aye,” Merlin says, although he still thinks this is a bad idea. It’s Eggsy’s kitchen. Over the last two years he’s scrimped and saved and begged and finally gotten things just the way he likes them, insisting on paying for almost all the changes himself (Harry had absolutely put his foot down about Eggsy replacing the counter out of his own pocket). Shining appliances, more counter space, and a charming selection of specialty aprons. The kitchen is almost like his church, his cathedral. But Merlin also knows Eggsy loves surprises, and the fact that they plan on cooking him dinner will definitely be a surprise.

“We agree to leave HQ at noon, then?”

“My fictional meeting with Arthur starts at eleven. Arthur will be in Bath at his sister’s, and his assistant knows to deceive Eggsy if necessary, although he never has a reason to speak to Arthur in the first place.”

“And Uther knows to divert Eggsy’s attention if they should meet before our supposed trip.” Harry gives Merlin a kiss. “Perfect. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Bloody hell.” Harry waves a hand in the air and sucks on a fingertip. “These potatoes are hot.”

“Are ye sure ye were nae supposed to peel them BEFORE ye cooked them?”

“It didn’t SAY so,” Harry retorts, glancing at the screen of his tablet. “Oh…wait…it did.”

“Ah.” Merlin gives a triumphant glance in Harry’s direction before looking at his own tablet. “This says I need to separate eggs. From what? The shells?”

“Of course you need to separate them from the shells. Fuck!” Harry drops a cooked potato and watches it splat onto the floor. “My shoes,” he moans, glaring at the drops of water and starch on the toe of his oxfords. 

“Priorities, Harry. Why ye are still dressed for work I will never know.” Merlin looks down at his ragged vest with pride. “I get to hit chicken with a mallet!” JB whimpers from his crate in the corner and Merlin gives him a dirty look.

“I’m wearing an apron,” Harry points out, gesturing to the baby blue fabric over his chest and legs. “And I get to use the Kitchen-Aid.” Harry caresses the pine-green mixer with a fond look.

“Ye are talking about it like Eggsy does. I did nae think ye liked cooking.”

“I don’t. But I like shiny things.” He gives the mixer one more pat. “I think I know how to use it…I’ve been in the room while Eggsy’s made things.”

“Where do we have the mallet?” Merlin digs through a drawer, leaning down with one hand on the counter. “What the…Harry!” Merlin holds his hand up in dismay, warm butter oozing between his fingers.

“You should watch where you put your hands,” Harry says primly.

“I’ll put them around your throat if you don’t shut up,” Merlin mumbles to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Merlin says. He washes his hand as best he can…butter is quite stubborn.

“All right. They’re peeled, now I need a cutting board…” Harry goes to another cabinet.

“That’s not right.”

“It most certainly is. Eggsy keeps the cutting boards…here…” Harry frowns as he digs through a cupboard.

“They’re down below.”

“Where?”

“BELOW, you idiot! That would be by your knees, not your ears,” Merlin growls. He spreads the chicken breast on the counter and gives it a good whack. “Filthy bugger,” he snaps as the piece of meat actually slides along the countertop.

“I’m NOT an idiot.” Harry whirls around to glare at him, his elbow taking the bag of flour out along the way. It lands on the floor with a poof, dusting the floor, the cabinets, the Kitchen-Aid mixer, and Harry in a lovely cloud of white.

“Are ye sure about that?” Merlin tries not to laugh. He really does.

“I do not want to hear one word.” Harry leans down to brush the flour from his trousers and only makes it worse.

“Not a word,” Merlin says with a straight face. He turns back to his chicken. “How can I possibly keep you in one place?” He pounds at the chicken, occasionally missing the meat entirely. “Perhaps if I hold…” He brings the mallet down on the edge of his thumb. “Fucking hell!”

“And you’re supposed to be the one that’s good with his hands,” Harry snorts. He takes a step back to study the mixer. “I suppose I should plug it in first…”

Merlin is behind Harry in a nanosecond, one arm around his throat while the other pins an arm behind Harry’s back. He’s sweaty, he’s frustrated, his thumb is throbbing, and he knows this is all Harry’s fault. Harry grunts as his face presses against the smooth surface of the mixer. “Shut…up…Harry.”

“Oh, poor Hamish, thwarted by a piece of meat,” Harry says in a taunting tone. Merlin growls and yanks Harry’s head back by the hair. 

“Dinnae say another word, Harry, or ye will never touch MY meat again.”

“Such a threat,” Harry mocks. He wiggles a bit, turns around, and suddenly Merlin is the one pressed against the counter. “You’re the magician, the one who can do everything, and yet you cannot make a simple chicken dish? I’m the one covered in flour, who has to…”

“Ye had to make potatoes!” Merlin shouts. “Even a complete imbecile could do that!”

“Are you calling me an imbecile?” Harry asks icily. “I’ve used this kitchen more often than you have.”

“Ye use it to make popcorn and cheese toasties and tea!”

“At least I know how to plug in the mixer.”

“Will ye shut up about the mixer!” Merlin’s elbow flies up almost without his permission, catching Harry in the bottom of the jaw. 

Harry’s smiles is pure malice. “Oh, do not threaten me with a good time, Hamish.” 

Merlin tries to steel himself but the punch to his stomach is harder than expected. “Bastard.” He gives an open slap to the side of Harry’s head and is rewarded with a knee to the inside of his thigh. “Christ!” He gasps. Harry spins out of the way but Merlin manages to grab him by the back of the belt and place a kick to his calf. Harry groans and turns again. His heel catches on the splattered potato and he starts to go down, bringing Merlin with him. Harry actually tucks and rolls himself so he cushions Merlin’s fall, his head cracking against the floor as Merlin lands on top of him. “I suppose ye wish me to thank ye for landing on the bottom.”

“I’m quite used to being on the bottom for you, darling.” Harry gives him a charming smile that only infuriates Merlin further. Harry arches his hips to buck Merlin away but Merlin’s too quick. He straddles Harry’s waist, pins his arms over his head, and presses Harry’s hands into the smashed potato. Harry’s smile fades. “Let me up, you oaf! We need to get dinner in the oven.”

“Are ye sure you are able to use anything other than the bloody mixer?”

“Get off me.” Harry struggles and fights but Merlin has gravity on his side. He takes his butter-greased hand and puts it at Harry’s throat.

“Beg for your release.”

“I’ll do nothing of the sort.” Merlin squeezes tighter and Harry gasps, his hips bucking up again. Merlin watches Harry’s pupils start to dilate. “Again…don’t threaten me…with a good time…” 

Merlin feels Harry’s cock plumping inside his trousers. His own traitorous body immediately responds, and his anger starts spiraling into something different. He growls and bends down to bite Harry’s bottom lip before releasing his throat. Harry gasps for breath, chokes a bit, then surges up to kiss Merlin, hands shoving at his vest to get a his bare skin. Merlin hisses as Harry’s fingernails rake down his back. “OW! You…” He fists a dirty hand in Harry’s hair again and kisses him. Harry moans, legs wrapping around his waist and holding him close. Merlin grunts into Harry’s mouth, the hand not in Harry’s hair scrabbling at the buckle of Harry’s belt.

“Yes…fuck yes, Hamish,” Harry whispers. His lip is actually bleeding from Merlin’s bite and when he smiles his teeth are pink.

“Fucking tart,” Merlin snaps before licking along Harry’s jaw.

“Only for you, my nasty husband.”

“I’m going to make ye come all over this floor, and then ye will lick it clean,” Merlin vows.

“I’d like to see you try,” Harry snaps. 

“Do shut up.” Merlin kisses him hard and deep and suddenly they’re a mass of wriggling, kissing, fondling bodies. He has one hand down the back of Harry’s pants when he hears a vaguely familiar sound from the front of the house.

“I wonder if you can still pick me up and fuck me on the counter,” Harry murmurs against his ear. “We have more space now.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?”

“Bloody hell!” Merlin presses his palm to his ear and winces. He’s never heard a sound like that before. “You’re home early,” he says. At least he thinks that’s what he says. There’s a possibility he’s lost hearing in at least one ear due to Eggsy’s bloodcurdling shriek. JB whines in his crate, pawing at the gate.

They both turn to stare up at Eggsy, who is gaping at them in shock. “What’s going on?” He looks at them, the floor, the counter, the table, and then his mixer. “What have you done?”

“What does it look like?” Harry asks primly, sitting up and actually straightening his tie. 

“It looks like you tried to destroy my kitchen and then have a bit of a victory fuck on the floor!” Eggsy shouts. 

“We did nae exactly destroy anything,” Merlin says, looking around. “Except maybe the potatoes…and the butter…and the flour…and perhaps the chicken.”

“You were pounding chicken on my…and used my good knives to…” Eggsy actually starts to tremble. “You touched my Kitchen-Aid mixer.”

“I know how to plug it in,” Harry pointed out. “And I’ve watched you use it. It can’t be that hard.”

“You boiled potatoes in this pan? On the stove?” Eggsy starts whimpering and Merlin slowly stands, helping Harry to his feet as he goes. “And you’re wearing one of my best aprons!”

“To be honest, I didn’t know you had ‘best aprons.’ I thought they were all the same,” Harry says. 

“Please tell me why…WHY do you two hate me? I get that my birthday don’t mean much to you, cuz I’m twenty-five, and a grown man, and I shouldn’t care. But this…this is my kitchen.” Eggsy’s eyes actually fill with tears. “My happy place. The one spot on the entire planet that is made especially for me. And you’ve…you’ve defiled it.”

“Defile is a fairly strong word, lad,” Merlin opines. 

“You were fingering Harry’s arse in a pile of potatoes on my kitchen floor. I’d call that fucking defiling!” Eggsy screams.

“Perhaps now is not the time to discuss semantics, Hamish,” Harry murmurs.

“Don’t know what semantics are, but yeah, not looking to discuss them. Don’t wanna talk about much of anything with you lot right now. I’ve begged you and begged you not to try and use things that…” Eggsy wipes a hand over his brow. “Just…go clean up, all right? Go do SOMETHING. Anything, and do it anywhere that’s not here.”

“We were cooking for your birthday,” Merlin says quietly, realizing that Eggsy is not being overdramatic. He is truly furious, and he actually looks…hurt. “We wanted to surprise ye with something special.”

“It’s special all right.” Eggsy looks around in dismay.

“Why don’t you go change, darling? We’ll clean up, it’s our mess,” Harry says, reaching out for Eggsy.

“No. Please don’t touch me…I just…don’t.” Eggsy actually shies away, wrapping his arms around his own waist. Harry looks at him in shock.

“Come along, Harry.” Merlin tugs at Harry’s arm. This is more than just a messy room to Eggsy. Merlin’s not sure what to say, so he figures the best plan is a hasty retreat.

“We’re sorry, dearest,” Harry says solemnly. Eggsy just nods.

“Pet…”

“No, Merlin, please don’t. Not your pet right now, not…just go.” Eggsy heads for the pantry where they keep the broom, dustpan and mop.

Harry and Merlin look at each other before silently leaving the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the chapter length from two chapters to three...things decided to go longer than I expected. As usual.

Merlin and Harry silently make their way to the laundry room, where they undress down to their pants. “I will gather the other laundry together,” Harry murmurs. “Start a load so he doesn’t have to.”

“Aye,” Merlin softly replies. They head upstairs in just their pants, shoes and socks. Merlin immediately tugs on a pair of jeans and a jumper but when he turns around he finds Harry sitting on the bed staring into space. “Harry…”

“I didn’t think…he was…” Harry’s eyes are miserable. “He looked…offended. Insulted.”

“Hurt. We hurt him, and it was nae just because we made a mess of his blessed kitchen.” Merlin sits down as well. “It is partially that he thinks we did nae care about his birthday, but there is more.”

“He trusts us to take care of him. Care for his overly large heart,” Harry says with a sigh.

“We are nae good with emotions and such,” Merlin begins. “I am having a hard time trying to figure out the correct procedure to fix this.”

“Well, we do what anyone at a loss might do.” Harry stands up. “We simply ask what exactly is wrong, beg forgiveness, and do everything in our power to make it right.”

“Aye.” They look at each other for a moment. “I’m sorry I called ye an imbecile,” Merlin says finally.

“I apologize for making light of the fact that you whacked your thumb with a kitchen mallet.” Harry takes the thumb in question and gives it a tender kiss. “Now let’s get downstairs and take care of our sweet birthday boy.”

“If he ever wants to talk to us again,” Merlin says glumly. “Not to mention touch us. Is it wrong that I was a wee bit turned on by his ferocity?”

“Not in the slightest. My head was turned by it as well,” Harry admits sheepishly. He gathers the laundry together and carries the basket down the steps.

They both freeze at the bottom of the stairs as they hear Eggsy talking to himself. “Have we traumatized him into madness?” Merlin whispers. They tiptoe down the hall toward the kitchen.

“I know you get it JB, but they’re grown men. Why don’t THEY get it?” They hear Eggsy say.

“Not insane, simply talking to his dog,” Harry whispers back. He takes the basket to the laundry room. Once he returns they both head for the kitchen, stopping just outside the doorway.

“This is all I got, ya know?” Eggsy is on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor. The potatoes and flour are gone and he’s doing a few last swipes with a rag. The chicken, butter, and everything else are nowhere to be found, although the counter still needs wiping. “They got the whole world. This is MY place…and it’s like they don’t even realize it. Know I ain’t nothing compared to them, JB…” At this JB whimpers, tilting his head to look at his master through the slats in the crate. “Aww, thanks, mate.” Eggsy pokes a finger through the slat and scratches under JB’s chin. Eggsy sighs and stands up, taking his rag to the sink and washing it out.

“Eggsy,” Harry says softly. He and Merlin both fidget in the doorway.

“Hey.” Eggsy hangs up his rag and gets a new one to wipe the counter.

“Lad, please.” Merlin takes a few steps and then stops. “Please come sit down and let us talk with ye.”

Eggsy slowly puts down his rag and retrieves JB from his crate. The dog happily licks his face as his master sits down in his seat at the table. Merlin and Harry take their seats as well. Merlin waits. Harry’s the conversationalist, let him talk. “First of all, my boy, please know that we never meant to hurt you or cause you trouble. We sincerely wished to prepare you a meal, to give you a break from your kitchen duties. We never meant to make such a mess. I know you value your space here, and…”

“But that’s just it,” Eggsy bursts out. “I know to you it’s just a kitchen, just a room, but to me, it’s…” He blushes and sighs. “Never mind. Gonna sound stupid. I overreacted, shouldn’t have yelled at you two. It’s your house.”

“Eggsy Unwin.” Merlin’s voice is quiet steel. “This is nae ‘our house.’ It belongs to all of us. Our names may be on the title, but ye are an equal part of the family here. And ye absolutely should not be apologizing for your anger. It was valid…warranted. We made a horrible disaster of your favorite room in the house, the one ye work so hard to keep clean and nice.” Eggsy nods but doesn’t look any happier. “While Harry is a bit more in tune to people’s emotions than I, we are still at a loss as to what has made ye so unhappy other than the mess ye had to clean. So we would appreciate it if ye would explain.” Eggsy opens his mouth but Merlin holds up a hand. “And before ye start, I will ask one thing. Ye dinnae apologize, or hold back. Ye must tell us the truth, even if it puts us in a bad light. We made a deal, you and I, way back when…we will always communicate truthfully. Do ye remember?”

“Yes, Master,” Eggsy says almost without thinking.

“All right then.” Merlin stands. “I will make tea as ye talk. We will not interrupt.” He gives his husband a pointed look before heading to the teapot.

Harry simply reaches over to squeeze Eggsy’s hand. “We love you, darling, and we want to hear what you have to say.”

“Okay.” Eggsy sighs. “Like I know most anyone can cook…except maybe you two.” He shakes his head. “The basics, anyway. But I realized I’m good at it. Like better than a lot of people. And I ain’t been better than a lot of people at hardly anything, except maybe gymnastics. And you appreciate it, and let me create a little place here to work on it. And I love that, and I love that you trust me with your kitchen as well as your stomachs. But it’s more than that. You two get to save the world. You’re important. You’re brilliant. You’re…you’re worth something. I ain’t worth nothing but what they used to pay me on the street.” Merlin turns from the teapot and growls. Harry’s face screams murder. “But in here? I’m actually better than the two of you. I have value. I, well, I excel. And it’s like you two disrespected that, even without realizing it, and that’s why I got so mad.” He blushes. “That and maybe because I really love my birthday, even though most years I didn’t get anything, and you two were, like, ignoring it or whatever. Last year I got both your dicks up my arse, and today I barely got a ‘happy birthday.’ Didn’t help.”

Merlin remains silent until he brings the cups of tea to the table. He slaps Eggsy’s hand away and stirs his sugar in before handing him the cup. “As ye know now, we were nae ignoring your birthday, we were trying to surprise you. But that doesn’t erase the hurt, I am sure.” He sighs, unsure exactly what to say. “Ye do realize ye have value to us as more than a houseboy, correct? We have expressed our fondness for ye, our love for ye?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy mumbles. “Which is why it was fucking stupid for me to get so worked up.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Harry offers. “You were hurt because you thought we ignored your special day. And then you came home to find your kitchen a shambles with us as the cause. You were a bit worked up. Understandable.” Eggsy shrugs. Harry calmly stirs milk into his tea. “You used the perfect word. Excel. You excel at so many things, Eggsy. You excel at cooking, yes. You excel at making our home a comfortable place. You excel at your work with Andrew. You excel at giving us something special, something we’ve never been able to give one another. And if it wasn’t for your excellence in all these things, I know we would not be as good at what you think WE excel at.” Harry smiles fondly. “I am a good agent. But because I have you waiting at home, I spend less time on flashy exploits and do my best to get home quickly and safely. Because while I know Merlin could survive without me…it would break your heart.”

“I spend at least thirty percent more time at home now because you’re here,” Merlin tells him. “Which can only benefit my health.”

“Sweet boy…” Harry leans over to cup Eggsy’s chin in his hand. “I am so sorry if you feel we did not value what you do here. We will not make that mistake again, and I swear by all I hold dear that I will NEVER touch your Kitchen-Aid mixer without your express permission.”

“Aye…I will stick to toast, and the microwave. Perhaps a pot of pasta now and then,” Merlin vows.

Eggsy smiles and ducks his head, kissing Harry’s fingers. “You two was really gonna cook for me?”

“Aye,” Merlin says. “We were going to make much of ye tonight.”

“Like how?”

“Well, we were going to cook for you,” Harry begins. “And then we were going to basically allow you to decide how the night progressed. Television, sleeping, sex, whatever you wanted.”

“You do that a lot anyway.” Eggsy looks confused.

“This was going to be a bit different,” Merlin says, although he quickly realizes he and Harry hadn’t discussed much beyond dinner. They basically figured Eggsy would want some sort of sex followed by some sort of cuddling. Merlin decides to take a huge step in his emotional development, because Eggsy deserves it. He can step outside his comfort zone. “We were going to pamper ye.” He sees Harry’s eyebrows raise into his hair.

Eggsy’s face lights up although he obviously tries to remain neutral. “Pamper me? But you don’t do that sorta thing. Especially you.” He gently pokes Merlin in the arm. “I mean, you’re always good to me and all, but pampering? That’s like…sentimental and gooey sweet. You don’t do gooey.”

“For you I could provide an ample amount of goo, I believe,” Merlin says, and is surprised that he doesn’t have to grit his teeth to get the words out. Perhaps the boy really has cast a spell on him.

“Master, you are too good to me.” Eggsy gets up and drapes himself over Merlin’s lap, giving him a long tender kiss. “Tell me more about this pampering.”

“Yes, Hamish, tell him more.” Harry leans back in his chair and gives him an amused look.

Now Merlin DOES grit his teeth. But his boy deserves it after what they’ve put him through. “Obviously dinner is literally off the table. We will call in takeaway, whatever ye like. Pizza, Italian, Chinese, Thai, whatever. We will give ye a bath after we eat. And then the night is yours. If ye wish to watch telly, or…”

“Or crawl into bed for naked cuddling?”

“I do believe we both would be on board with naked cuddling,” Harry immediately interrupts.

“Look at my Sir and my Master, being all sweet,” Eggsy says in a teasing tone. “Didn’t know you was capable of all this.”

“Nae, lad, it is not like that.” Merlin captures Eggsy’s chin with his forefinger and thumb. “Being a dom is nae just about power. It is about treating a sub the way they deserve. Occasionally that means taking care of them when they need to submit. But other times…”

“Other times it means worshipping them so they are reminded of their value,” Harry interrupts, and Merlin gives him a pleased wink.

“So, lad…the evening is yours. WE are here to serve YOU.” Merlin has never said those words before. He has never offered to serve anyone, not even Harry. But Eggsy deserves the moon and the stars, and if those come in the form of service, Merlin will gladly do his level best.

“Fuck.” Eggsy clears his throat and sips at his tea. “That…okay, so I’m so fucking torn. That sounds sexy as hell, plus WRONG as hell, coming from you.”

“I do like to keep you on your toes.” Merlin gets up and goes to the menu drawer. “Here ye are, lad. Choose something.”

“Chinese?” Eggsy asks.

“As ye wish,” Merlin says. “You go ahead and call it in. Ye know what I like.”

“I will have my usual as well,” Harry says. He also stands and retrieves Eggsy’s rag from the countertop. “I’ll finish wiping up here…you pay attention to Mr. Bauer. I’m afraid he had to sit in his crate and watch the disaster happen.”

“Poor JB.” Eggsy kisses and scritches his dog until the pup is panting happily. Merlin notices that Eggsy is all but panting as well, happily calling in their orders as well as wonton soup, egg rolls, and chicken lo mein for himself. “He should probably go out,” he says when he hangs up the phone. “Been a while, yeah?”

“I’m afraid so,” Harry says regretfully. He grabs the leash from the wall. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Thanks, Harry.” Eggsy hands the pug up to Harry. Once Harry and JB are outside, Eggsy turns to Merlin. “You don’t really gotta pamper me and, well, serve me, Merlin. Your intentions, everything you said, it’s enough. Really. Be happy with dinner, maybe some telly and a bit of a tumble in the bedroom.”

“I meant what I said, lad. I wish to serve ye.” Merlin leans down and gives him a tender kiss, sucking on his bottom lip. “Are ye disobeying me, even in something like this?”

“No, Master,” Eggsy whispers, his eyes heated. 

“All right then.” Merlin taps him on the nose. “If ye really feel the need to do something, why don’t ye check on the laundry Harry put in?”

“Yes, Merlin.” Eggsy slides out of his chair and heads for the laundry room.

Harry and JB return while Eggsy is still out of the room. Harry sets the dog free and he immediately scurries off to make a mess with his water dish. “So…an evening of pampering?” Harry saunters over to Merlin with a grin.

“Oh do be quiet. It’s the first thing I could come up with.”

“I think it’s perfect.” Harry gently touches the top of Merlin’s head before kissing him. “He brings out such a different side of you…it’s alien, but attractive.”

“Thank ye, I think,” Merlin says wryly.

“It will be easier than you think,” Harry says. “Just do everything for Eggsy that you would HATE to have done for yourself.”

“That is actually quite logical,” Merlin muses and Harry laughs.

“How about some telly, darling, until the food gets here?” Harry asks when Eggsy comes back.

“Sounds good…lemme go change quick, still in my work clothes, ain’t I?”

“Why ARE you home earlier than usual, lad?” Merlin asks.

Eggsy blushes. “Well, I just…I had a rough day emotionally, was pretty upset about the whole ignoring my birthday thing. Childish, really, but I couldn’t kick the down feeling. Andrew caught on, asked if I was sick.” Now his face is beet red. “I might have said yes. Shouldn’t have lied to him, I know. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize to us, Eggsy,” Harry says quietly, kissing his cheek. “I’m sure if Andrew really needed you, you would have stayed.”

“Swear down,” Eggsy says earnestly.

“Run upstairs and change,” Merlin tells him. “We’ll be in the living room waiting for ye.”

“And then your night of pampering will begin,” Harry says, unable to keep an amused smile from his face.

“You’re both pretty fucking incredible, you know that?” Eggsy asks, kissing first Harry and then Merlin. “Know you ain’t all about the cuddling or the pampering or whatever, no matter how cool you’re trying to be about it. I appreciate it…don’t deserve it.”

“As we told you last year on your birthday, dear boy, simply say thank you and accept what’s being offered,” Harry says sternly.

“Yes, Sir. Thank you,” Eggsy says meekly. He turns to Merlin. “Thank you, Master.”

“Ye are welcome. Run along and get changed.” He gives Eggsy a quick slap to his arse. Eggsy howls and rubs at the sore spot but his eyes flare. Merlin gives him a pleasant smile and he runs up the steps.


	3. Chapter 3

When Eggsy comes in to the living room in trakkies and a favorite hoodie Harry is setting up trays. “We’re eating in here?” 

“Aye, lad. What use is it to start a show if we’re only going to have to turn it off to eat in a few moments?” Merlin asks.

“But you two hate eating in front of the telly,” Eggsy says, still shocked.

“My dear Eggsy, what part of ‘making much of you’ didn’t you understand?” Harry asks with a fond smile. “Tonight is all about you. What you want.”

“Feel like it’s Christmas AND my birthday,” Eggsy says, shaking his head. He picks up the remote, turns on the telly, and starts flipping through the channel guide.

“I’ll get drinks a while,” Merlin says. “Fizzy drink, Eggsy?”

“Yes, please.”

“Wine, Harry?” Merlin asks. His husband drinks wine with everything, even Chinese food. Sometimes he just does not understand him.

“No, thank you. Water will suffice.” Eggsy and Merlin both stare at him. “I CAN go through a night without alcohol.”

“I know ye can…I just never knew ye WOULD,” Merlin comments, earning a dirty look from his husband. Merlin heads for the kitchen and gets Eggsy’s fizzy drink along with water for Harry as well as himself. When he returns to the living room Eggsy is seated on the sofa and Harry is heading for the door. He hears Harry thank the delivery man in perfect Cantonese before he comes back in.

“That smells great. I’m fucking STARVING,” Eggsy announces. “Didn’t eat all day.” They both look at him. “Well, I didn’t have much of an appetite earlier,” he says defensively.

“Come here,” Merlin orders. Eggsy immediately obeys, bouncing over to stand before him. Merlin cups Eggsy’s face in his hands, thumbs trailing over the soft cheekbones. “Happy birthday, my beautiful pet. My sweet boy. My darling puppy.” He gently nibbles at Eggsy’s lips before his tongue seeks entrance. Eggsy lets out something suspiciously akin to a squeak before his body melts against Merlin’s. Merlin knows he’s caught him off guard; this is the sort of kiss Harry normally gives him. Not Merlin. Merlin slides a hand up through Eggsy’s hair and reaches down with his other hand to grasp the perfect arse. “Happy…happy…birthday.” He kisses each of Eggsy’s eyelids and then his nose.

“Fuck me,” Eggsy whimpers dazedly.

“Later if ye are very good,” Merlin promises.

“That’s not quite fair.” Harry takes Eggsy by the hand and turns him away from Merlin. “You always try to outdo me.”

“It isn’t that hard,” Merlin says. Harry gives him a dirty look.

“Happy birthday, darling.” Harry kisses each of Eggsy’s fingertips before taking Eggsy’s palm and settling it on his own face. “We are so very fortunately to have you in our lives.” He nips at the meat of Eggsy’s thumb before leaning forward and ever-so-gently placing a kiss on Eggsy’s forehead.

“If this is how the pampering starts, dunno if I’ll live through it,” Eggsy says with a happy sigh.

“We will nae let ye perish,” Merlin vows. “You were right…this food smells excellent. Let’s eat.”

“I shall serve,” Harry says. “Sit down, Eggsy.”

“I can get my own…”

“Sit. Down.” Harry’s eyes narrow.

“Yes, Sir.” Eggsy meekly plops onto the sofa.

Merlin brings actual plates in from the kitchen and assists Harry in dividing up the food. He hands Eggsy his plate before sitting on his favorite chair. Harry sits next to Eggsy on the sofa and hands him the remote. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Eggsy flips to the nature channel. “Oh, look, jungle cats.”

“What are you doing?” Merlin asks.

“Nature shows. I like nature shows.”

“Eggsy.” Merlin puts down his fork. “This is about YOU. Ye like nature shows, true, but is that really what ye wish to watch?”

“Well, there’s a show about cars, but you don’t…”

“Pampering,” Merlin reminds him. “That means we willingly and unselfishly sacrifice…”

Eggsy looks horrified at the idea. “It means you act as if we aren’t here,” Harry interrupts, giving Merlin a look. “Eat how and where you want, watch what you want. Darling, please let us care for you.”

“I just…ain’t used to it,” Eggsy mutters, poking at his noodles. “Know you two love me, yeah? Just ain’t used to anyone putting me first like for an entire night or whatever.”

“Ye dinnae have to get used to it. Trust me, once this night is over ye will be back in your place serving us,” Merlin informs him. Harry chokes on his rice. Eggsy bursts out laughing. Merlin keeps a straight face but gives a slight shrug of his shoulders to show Eggsy he’s joking. Eggsy gives him a sunny grin and turns the channel to the show about cars.

Merlin actually finds the show interesting; he’s always liked learning about how things are created, the history of a process. Harry only looks mildly bored, but he focuses on his food and doesn’t say anything. Eggsy chatters away as they watch, giving other bits of trivia and information the show doesn’t touch on. Merlin’s impressed. Perhaps he should see about transferring him out of the shop, now that he doesn’t have to worry as much about Daisy and Michelle.

“I got this,” Eggsy says when they’re done eating. He stands and clears their plates, earning a growl from Merlin. “Gotta use the loo, Merlin…you can’t do that for me.”

“True.”

“I’ll let JB out, too.” Eggsy whistles and JB hops up from his little bed in the corner of the living room. 

Merlin and Harry busy themselves with putting the trays away and setting the living room to rights. “I thought this would be easier,” Harry observes. “I figured he would enjoy a bit of a night off, as it were.”

“Myself as well, but I dinnae think he had much doting growing up,” Merlin points out. “And we’re not exactly good at waiting on people hand and foot.”

“Why don’t you and he finish your show while I go prepare the bath,” Harry suggests.

“That sounds good.” Merlin pauses before taking Harry in his arms. “I have waited on YOU hand and foot before,” he says. “When ye finished that mission in Morocco.”

“You were very good at it, when you weren’t complaining and yelling at me for almost getting blown up.” Harry smiles and kisses him. “You pamper me in your own way, Hamish…and I would not ask for anything different.”

“I would…I ask that ye don’t get blown up.” But Merlin kisses him anyway.

“What the fuck, Harry?” Eggsy gasps as he and Merlin enter the en suite. Steam swirls through the room as the door opens and Merlin can barely see his husband.

“We promised you a bath, Eggsy.” Harry stands by the tub clad only in his red dressing gown. “I picked up these bath oils especially for tonight. Soothing and relaxing. Tonight I get to repay you for all the times you’ve cared for me upon my return from difficult missions.”

“You know I don’t mind doing that, Harry. Like welcoming you home.” But Eggsy looks at the tub with interest. “Don’t never give you bubbles, though.”

“The bubbles were on sale,” Harry says almost defensively, and Merlin snorts. “Oh, do be quiet.”

“Shall I help undress ye, lad?” Merlin murmurs.

Eggsy’s eyes light up as he turns to Merlin. “Yes, please!”

Merlin slowly pulls the hoodie away from Eggsy’s body, and as always, he is enthralled by what he finds underneath. Harry is still fit and gorgeous in his fifties, but getting to run his hands over the body of a twenty-five year old is a joy Merlin never expected to experience on a continued basis. He caresses the curve of Eggsy’s shoulders, the flat plane of his stomach. His thumbs tease over the hook of Eggsy’s hips under the trakkies.

“I could do this all night,” Merlin murmurs. “Ye are a work of art, lad.”

“Merlin,” Eggsy groans. “Driving me crazy already!”

Merlin gracefully drops to one knee so he can untie Eggsy’s trainers. He feels a gentle hand trail over the top of his head and he looks up to find Eggsy’s green eyes sparkling. “Don’t get used to this,” Merlin says. “I will nae be kneeling for ye any time soon.”

“You should try it sometime…real relaxing,” Eggsy says. “Sorta like the look of you down there.” Merlin growls and pinches his calf. He sets aside the trainers and socks and reaches for the waist of Eggsy’s trakkies.

“If I may…” Harry steps up behind Eggsy, kisses the back of his neck, and gives a push to the elastic band. Merlin takes over and brings both trakkies and pants down to Eggsy’s ankles. “Our beautiful boy.” Harry’s palms make small circles over Eggsy’s hips.

“Harry,” Eggsy whispers, turning his head for a kiss. His cock is already hard and just starting to drip. Merlin cannot help but flick his tongue out to taste. Eggsy hisses and hops a bit, almost head-butting Harry in the process.

“Do behave, Hamish,” Harry snaps. “Into the water with you, darling, before we ravage you right here on the floor.”

“Don’t sound so bad,” Eggsy says, but he takes Harry’s hand and allows him to help step him into the tub. “Oh, this is hot…aces,” he hisses.

“Yes, I am aware you like your bath water as hot as I do,” Harry says. “Settle in, that’s a good boy…rest your head on the bath pillow.”

“Fuck…me…” Eggsy stretches his head back as his eyes flutter closed.

Merlin looks at him for a long moment, unsure what to do next. Does Eggsy wish to be left alone? Does he want them to bathe him? He looks to Harry uncertainly. Harry frequents spas and such places, he knows what is to be done. Harry folds a towel on the floor and neatly arranges his dressing gown so he’s comfortable before kneeling on the towel. Merlin takes the hint and starts to change his own clothes, reaching for his blue gown on the back of the door. 

“Tell me, Eggsy…what’s your favorite birthday memory?” Harry asks softly. He picks up a flannel and gets it wet. “Don’t open your eyes, just talk.”

“Last birthday before my Da died,” Eggsy says immediately, and Merlin sees guilt briefly flit over Harry’s face. “Memory’s getting faint, you know, was like twenty years ago or whatever, but I remember most of it. It was a warm day for early September…and me and Mum and Da had a picnic in the park. Mum made these real good sandwiches, and we had crisps and bananas.” Eggsy smiles fondly. “Me and Da kicked a football around a bit, and then he pushed me on the swings and helped me climb on the bars. Called me his little monkey.” Eggsy’s eyes fly open. “Fuck…I’d actually forgotten about that.”

“I’m glad you have such a good memory, darling. Nothing after that?” Harry’s hand briskly moves the flannel over one strong arm before placing it back in the water and reaching for Eggsy’s other arm. Eggsy closes his eyes again.

“After that we didn’t have much. Mum usually at least made me a cake for the next few years, and then…”

“Dean.” Merlin’s unable to keep the ice from his voice.

“My mates would usually put some money together, get me a little something. A snapback, or a CD.” Eggsy shrugs. His eyes open again when they don’t respond. “Wot?”

“I’m sorry,” Harry says softly. “I know you enjoy your birthday and the idea of you…”

Eggsy waves a hand in the air and bubbles fly. “It’s fine, Harry, swear down. Should be a bit more grown up about it, shouldn’t I?”

“One of your most attractive qualities, lad, is your ability to find joy in so many things,” Merlin tells him honestly. 

“Well, thankfully I found these two fit older gents who tend to give me really good birthday gifts,” Eggsy points out. “Look at last year.”

“Aye,” Merlin says with a smile, remembering their holiday away to the cottage.

Harry continues to bathe Eggsy, even wiggling the flannel between Eggsy’s toes to make him giggle. Eggsy’s skin is soon pink from the hot water, and it only makes his eyes sparkle more, in Merlin’s opinion. “M’turning into a raisin here,” Eggsy says finally. “Should get out.”

Merlin helps him out and hands him a towel. Eggsy starts furiously scrubbing at his hair and skin, turning the pink skin pinker and sending his hair every which way. Merlin won’t say out loud how adorable he thinks Eggsy looks. He watches the drops of water slide down Eggsy’s strong chest to pool in the tuft of light brown hair around his cock. 

“You could help clean up,” Harry says, poking him.

“Busy,” Merlin says absently, desperately wanting to lick the drops of water from Eggsy’s body.

“Now what?” Eggsy surfaces from his towel. 

“Your choice,” Merlin reminds him. He takes the towel and hangs it up.

“I believe there was something said about naked cuddling?” Eggsy says hopefully.

“Indeed there was. Run along to bed, Eggsy, we’ll be in shortly,” Harry tells him.

Eggsy grabs him by the lapels of his dressing gown and gives him a kiss. “Thanks for the bath, Harry. Felt so good…feel like a new man.”

“You’re quite welcome, darling.” Harry kisses his nose and Eggsy goes bouncing into the bedroom. Harry turns to Merlin. “How far are you willing to take this pampering, Hamish?”

“I dinnae understand.”

“What if he wishes for you to do something you are not normally comfortable with?”

“Like what?” Merlin asks suspiciously. He’s fairly open in the bedroom, so he can’t imagine something he’d say no to.

“What if he asks YOU to call HIM Master? What if he wants to fuck YOU?”

Okay, he’d definitely never imagined THAT. “Oh, well, I…”

“You won’t even let ME fuck you,” Harry says with a slight hint of a pout.

“Oh, ye ridiculous peacock. We dinnae know WHAT he might ask for, so stop your dithering. I promise to say no if he asks to fuck me. Which I would have probably said anyway.” Being on the receiving end of intercourse has never held much interest for Merlin.

He brushes past Harry and enters the bedroom. Eggsy peeks out from under the covers in their large bed. “Thought you two forgot about me. Real lonely in here.”

“I am sorry to hear it, lad.” Merlin slowly removes the dressing gown and hangs it up.

“Stop,” Eggsy commands, and Merlin freezes. “Just wanna look at ya.” Eggsy sits up, his green eyes hungrily running over Merlin’s body. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“I look the same as I always do.”

“Gorgeous,” Eggsy insists. His eyes linger on Harry as he removes his dressing gown and puts it away. “You too. How’d I get so lucky?”

Harry doesn’t answer, just climbs in under the covers on one side as Merlin joins them on the other side. Eggsy sighs happily, curling around to place his head on Merlin’s naked chest. He reaches back and rests his hand on Harry’s hip. “Sometimes I feel we dinnae do this enough,” Merlin says finally. Harry gives him a questioning look.

“Wot…snuggle naked?”

“Well, that.” Merlin kisses the top of Eggsy’s head. “While we eat together quite often, and run errands together, we dinnae always take the time to appreciate each other.” Eggsy lifts his head to stare at him, as does Harry. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Eggsy stammers.

“That is very…deep of you, Hamish,” Harry says. “I did not realize you thought about such things.”

“I don’t,” Merlin says irritably. “And this is why, because if I just so happen to mention I recognize something about feelings, the two of you act as if I’ve discovered a new element.”

“Aw, Merlin, don’t get upset.” Eggsy kisses his chin. “I’m just happy you think about our relationship at all. That you’re just not like, I dunno, thinking of it as daily life and not something that matters. That didn’t make sense.” He shakes his head.

“I understand, darling.” Harry kisses the back of Eggsy’s neck. “And you’re right, Hamish. We need to remember how lucky we are and not just take things for granted. Every now and then we should simply take an evening to relax, enjoy each other’s company.”

“Mmm.” Eggsy snuggles back against Merlin again, his hand slowly trailing up and down his arm. “Love this…love feeling you next to me. We should do this more often, too.”

“Ye are nae happy with the amount of time we spend together naked?”

“Oh, I am, but we’re usually…preoccupied.” Eggsy tugs Harry’s arm around him and traces up and down his arm as well. “I like relearning you…the feel of you under my skin. I ain’t the only one that deserves to be worshipped a bit. Love serving you and all, but this way…I can remember just why I’m happy to serve.” Eggsy rolls over and looks up into Harry’s face. “I love you, Sir.” He kisses him as he weaves a hand through Harry’s hair. “Love you so much.” He then turns back to Merlin. “And you.” He slides until his body is pressed over Merlin’s and he’s looking down at him, holding himself up on strong arms. “My Master,” he murmurs, slowly dipping himself down until he’s skin to skin with Merlin. “Love you.” 

Merlin cannot hold back. He wraps his arms around Eggsy, holding him close as they kiss. “Beautiful,” Harry murmurs. Merlin feels Harry’s hand run through Eggsy’s hair. “The two of you are gorgeous together. I could simply watch you for hours.”

“Not tonight.” Eggsy slowly sits up and straddles Merlin’s waist, the covers draping around his hips. His hard cock drips onto Merlin’s and it takes everything Merlin has not to reach down to get a taste. “I want my Sir to fuck me…while my Master fucks him.” Merlin feels Harry still next to him. They’ve had sex in front of Eggsy, of course, but never with his actual involvement. “Unless you don’t want to and then it’s really okay,” Eggsy adds anxiously. “If you want that to just be for the two of you, it’s fine. You’re married, you should have something for yourselves. You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything. Fuck me, Sir, while I suck Master’s cock. That sounds aces, yeah?” Eggsy moves to slide away.

“Eggsy, relax,” Merlin commands. He grabs Eggsy’s wrists to hold him still. “Did we say it was a bad idea?”

“N-no.”

“Harry, do ye have a problem with this idea?” Merlin definitely doesn’t. He thinks it is most likely the best idea he’s heard in months.

Harry surges up to kiss Eggsy, scrambling onto his knees so he can take Eggsy’s face in his hands and plunge his tongue into Eggsy’s mouth. Eggsy whimpers, hips automatically grinding down onto Merlin. Harry ends the kiss by tugging Eggsy’s bottom lip with his teeth. “No, Hamish, I do not have a problem with it.”

“Christ,” Eggsy gasps. Merlin pulls him down for a brutal kiss as well.

“Ye are in charge tonight, lad,” Merlin reminds him when he finally lets Eggsy up for air. “But might I make a suggestion?”

“Please, cuz I think you two just kissed away my last working brain cells.”

Harry grins and Merlin rolls his eyes. Pompous peacock. “I think ye should be on your hands and knees. We can get ye ready and…”

“No,” Eggsy interrupts, and Merlin’s eyebrows raise. “Well, yeah, get me ready that way if you want, but I wanna be on my back so I can see you both. If it don’t work we can move.”

“Very well,” Merlin says with a sigh, unaccustomed to someone disagreeing with his plans. 

Harry rolls over for the lube before settling on his back. “Come here, darling, and kiss me.”

“Gladly.” Eggsy tumbles over onto Harry, holding himself up on his hands and knees as Harry’s hands weave through his hair. Merlin watches for a moment, loving the contrast in their bodies. Harry bends his knees and spreads his legs a bit, allowing Eggsy to settle between them.

Merlin remembers his job and picks up the lube. He begins to kiss down Eggsy’s spine, welcoming each sigh that falls from his pet’s lips. Harry moans as well, arching his hips up against Eggsy. This gives Merlin an idea. He continues to work his mouth down over Eggsy’s skin, biting a bit at the beautiful pink arse. “Help me, Harry?” Merlin asks.

“Of course.” Harry’s slender hands slide down to Eggsy’s arse and spreads him.

“Fuck yeah please,” Eggsy begs.

Merlin places lube on his finger but doesn’t slide it inside. Instead he flicks his tongue over Eggsy’s entrance, causing him to yelp. Merlin chuckles and flicks again, as his dry hand pushes at Harry’s legs and gets them to spread even more. Only then does he tease his lubed finger below Harry’s balls. It’s a bit of a struggle with him under Eggsy but Merlin has figured out more complicated problems in the past that were not half as enjoyable.

“Hamish!” Harry whines, bending his knees as much as he can and lifting his hips.

“Merlin!” Eggsy says almost at the same time. Merlin continues to circle Eggsy’s hole with his tongue as he slowly presses a finger into his husband. “Fuck,” Eggsy groans but Harry simply grabs Eggsy’s arse tighter, fingers digging into the creamy skin.

Merlin doesn’t do this often, and he knows Eggsy has to be in the right frame of mind to allow it. It is incredibly intimate, but in this moment it seems to define the word pampering. Merlin moves his finger in tandem with the way he moves his tongue, and soon both his men are panting. Their kisses get sloppy, and Eggsy soon rocks back to meet Merlin’s mouth. “Sweet little slag,” Merlin says fondly. He turns his head to kiss Eggsy’s skin around Harry’s fingers. “Now to really get ye ready.”

“Ready enough, Master, please,” Eggsy begs. “Want my Sir inside me.”

“Absolutely not,” Harry snaps, pinching his arse hard. “He has not yet breached you with more than a fingertip. I will not allow it.”

“Either will I.” Merlin actually spanks Eggsy hard. “Dinnae ever ask for such a thing, lad, understand me? Pain is enjoyable under the right circumstances but that will NEVER be the right circumstances. I would never do anything to hurt ye.”

“Yes, Sir. Yes, Master. I just…” Eggsy buries his face in Harry’s neck and wiggles his arse a bit.

“Ye are a greedy little boy who wants cock,” Merlin finishes for him. Harry winks at Merlin over Eggsy’s shoulder.

“Yes,” comes the muffled reply.

“I think your punishment is to turn on your side and snog your Sir a bit. That way I can enjoy the view and prepare the both of ye,” Merlin says.

“YES, Master.” Eggsy eagerly wiggles into place and reaches for Harry with grabby hands.

“You are a tart,” Harry says fondly, just as eagerly reaching for their boy.

They wind their legs together, bending at hips and knees just right to give Merlin perfect access. “I dinnae think he is the only one,” Merlin murmurs. He loves the way his fingers slide into Harry, almost as if they’re coming home. He’s done this to them both so many times, but it is a completely different experience between the two. For as many times as Eggsy’s had sex with them both, his body is always tight, always fighting against letting them in. Harry welcomes Merlin, and his cock actually throbs with the thought of being inside his husband. 

Merlin works two fingers into each of them and Eggsy starts whimpering against Harry’s mouth, humping against him like the puppy he is. “Slow down, darling…we don’t wish this to be over before it’s started,” Harry mumbles into his mouth, although he’s as turned on as Eggsy. He reaches down to swipe his thumb over the head of Eggsy’s cock, pulling the bead of liquid out and up. “You are gorgeous.” He holds the thumb up to Merlin, who eagerly sucks it dry.

“Please…please now?” Eggsy begs. “Want you, Sir, please?”

“I love that we limit your vocabulary to begging,” Harry says with a grin. “Yes, my darling birthday boy.” 

“Down toward the edge of the bed,” Merlin orders, and they obediently maneuver and scoot into place. 

“Master,” Eggsy says, looking up at him from his pillow. Merlin crawls up onto the bed and leans around Harry. “Thank you,” he whispers, giving Merlin a sweet kiss.

“Ye are welcome, lad.” Merlin kisses his forehead. “Now take your Sir like a good boy.”

He hands the lube to Harry and he and Eggsy both watch as Harry’s slender hand gets his cock slick. Eggsy licks his lips, eyes hooded and dark. He eagerly spreads his legs and Merlin can tell the exact moment Harry presses inside. “Yesss…” Eggsy hisses. “Fuck yes, Sir…”

“You are always so tight…like the perfect glove.” Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s chest for a moment. Merlin waits, his hands gently smoothing over Harry’s back and hips. Soon Harry starts to move, gentle thrusting movements that have Eggsy gasping. Eggsy’s hands move over Harry’s back as well, gently trailing up and down his spine before eventually digging in hard.

“Yeah…fuck, Sir, right there…oh fuck me…” Eggsy arches his back, eyes fluttering shut, pink bottom lip tugged between his teeth.

Merlin reaches for the lube and gets himself ready. He’s so turned on that he can barely handle touching himself, but he won’t hurt Harry, just like he won’t hurt Eggsy. He caresses Harry’s backside, spreading him with one hand while he gets himself lined up. “Steady, Harry,” he murmurs.

Harry freezes, back arching as Merlin presses inside. “Oh…bloody hell…” Eggsy wraps his arms around him and holds him close. “You’re so fucking big, Christ…”

“Ye act as if it’s the first time I’ve fucked ye,” Merlin grunts.

“Always feels like this.” Harry bows his head onto Eggsy’s chest.

“Are you okay, Harry? Is this too much? Don’t gotta do it if it’s too much,” Eggsy says anxiously. He rubs his hands over Harry’s back.

“No, my boy, it’s fine…it’s perfect…being sheathed and taken by the men I love most in the world? Perfect.” Harry rocks a bit and Eggsy and Merlin groan as one. “I’m…the one being pampered.”

“Of course it is all about you.” But Merlin grins as he says it, before settling in and getting to work. He holds Harry’s hips in a loose grip, allowing Harry to control the movements of their lovemaking. He pushes into Eggsy and then back onto Merlin, slowly at first, and then with a steady rhythm. Merlin watches as Eggsy reaches up to cup Harry’s face in his hand, each thrust of Harry’s body pushing a panting breath from Eggsy’s pink lips. Merlin desperately wants to plow into his husband, wants to fuck the breath from his body like he always does. But he has Eggsy to consider, and allows Harry to set the pace. Eggsy cries out as Harry pushes in hard and stays there. 

“Fuck me, Hamish,” Harry commands. “Use me…use me to fuck our boy.”

“Christ, Harry,” Merlin murmurs, all too happy to comply. His hips jab forward, thrusting into Harry with sharp movements that push Harry forward.

“God…Sir…so fucking deep…” Eggsy groans. His head thrashes on the pillow as his hands grab at the sheets. He reaches around and grabs Harry’s arse, pulling him in even deeper. He then blindly searches and finds where Merlin’s cock is sinking into Harry’s body. He can just barely reach him, and Eggsy’s fingertips are curious as they stroke along Harry’s entrance.

“Keep that up, boy, and…”

Eggsy slides just a fingertip in with Merlin’s cock. “Fuck!” Harry shouts. His body convulses around Merlin and Merlin knows he is emptying himself into Eggsy’s body. “Fuck,” Harry repeats almost weakly. His arms shake as he tries to keep himself from collapsing onto Eggsy. Merlin waits until Harry’s body stops quivering before slowly pulling out. He helps Harry maneuver out of Eggsy and onto his back. Harry throws an arm up over his face. “I’m sorry…I wanted to last longer…it was just…”

“No apologies,” Eggsy orders, kissing his shoulder. “That was amazing.” He looks up at Merlin. “Well, c’mon, then, you know you want to.”

“Eggsy…”

“Master, you know you want to fuck the hole your husband just used…don’t you?” Eggsy stretches and grins at him like a cat. “Know I want it.”

“Filthy little boy.” Merlin all but dives in, wrapping Eggsy’s strong thighs around his waist and pushing inside.

“Yes!” Eggsy all but screams. He can only hold on as Merlin pounds into him, his breath coming in panting whines.

“Do ye need to touch yourself, lad?” Merlin murmurs in his ear. “Because I am this close to filling ye with my come.”

“N-no, just…oh fuck yeah right there…” Eggsy’s eyes widen almost comically as Merlin changes angles a bit. “Right fucking…” 

Merlin feels the familiar wetness spread between their bodies. “Good boy.” He bites down on Eggsy’s shoulder, thrusts a few more times, and then his body stutters. It feels as every nerve ending in his body is centered at the head of his cock, and he does his best not to smother Eggsy as he comes. Their bodies stick together, bound with the glue of Eggsy’s release, but Merlin doesn’t care. 

“Well,” Harry whispers. Merlin slowly turns his head to look at him, rolling his eyes at the sweet kisses Eggsy is planting on the top of his bald head. “That was interesting.”

Merlin slowly pulls away. He resists the urge to lay down and pass out and instead goes to the en suite for wet flannels. When he comes back in Harry and Eggsy are actually changing the sheets on the bed. “Was that necessary?”

“Yeah, cuz you know Harry woulda started whining about the wet spots,” Eggsy informs him. “This is why I’ve started keeping extra bed linens in the drawer over there.”

“You do take good care of us.” Harry kisses Eggsy’s forehead.

Merlin stops Eggsy and wipes him down, kissing the sweet thighs on his way back up. He then tosses the flannel to Harry. “Ye can take care of yourself.”

“Master,” Eggsy scolds. He lovingly wipes Harry down before returning the flannel to the en suite. 

Merlin looks at Harry. “This was not exactly what I had in mind when I thought about pampering.”

“True…but he seems happy.” Harry wraps his arms around Merlin. “I see what you do, Hamish. You do try to express feelings more, especially to him, because he needs it. I’m quite proud of you.”

“Nonsense,” Merlin says, but he smiles against Harry’s hair.

“You two are gorgeous, you know that?” Eggsy leans in the doorway of the en suite. “The two of you together…your relationship ain’t like anything I ever seen, but it’s so beautiful.”

“Our relationship is not beautiful. It is unique and horrid, according to some,” Merlin says.

“Well, whoever those ‘some’ are, they can bite me, cuz you two are perfect.” Eggsy saunters over to wiggle his way between them. “Love you two together…it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You are a bit biased.” Harry nips at his nose.

“And I’m a bit fucking knackered. Christ, you two…” Eggsy sighs happily. “Can we naked snuggle again?”

“Of course.” Harry steps away and Eggsy happily clambers onto the bed. Once they’re tucked back under the covers, Harry says, “Did your birthday end well, darling?”

“Best ever. Good food, good telly, incredible sex.” Eggsy looks up at Merlin. “How did you say it, Harry? Sometimes a dom needs to worship his sub so he’s reminded of his value? I feel real fucking valuable right now.”

“Good.” Something constricts around Merlin’s heart as he looks down at Eggsy. “Ye are a treasure, lad, and we are lucky to have ye.”

“So lucky.” Harry wraps himself around Eggsy and kisses his bare shoulder. “Even luckier when we get up tomorrow to a delicious breakfast.”

“Will do.” Eggsy seems pleased with the idea. “Sleep now.”

“Sleep now,” Merlin agrees. He rolls over, turns off the light, and arranges himself around his favorite people on the planet.


End file.
